The importance of the ally
When I was young, a certain celebrity was afflicted with a medical condition. After their diagnosis, the celebrity suddenly became an outspoken advocate for pouring money into research to treat that condition. People kept calling this person brave, which struck me as odd and inaccurate. At the time, all of it felt a little disingenuous to me. Why was this celebrity only championing for this research once they were affected by the disease?
But today, having lived a few more decades, evolved, and worked though some of my own issues, I can see it a bit differently. As I’ve comprehended more about life’s nuances and the endless struggles individuals must battle, I’ve come to develop more sympathy and understanding.
Sometimes we’re so inundated with the demands of careers, families, and everyday life that we’re unable to comprehend the realities others face. It’s then that personal connections can force us to slow down and face our own prejudices with a new perspective. Some change their viewpoint on racial discrimination once they have biracial grandchildren. Others come to see gender discrimination when their daughter faces harassment. Still others come to view LGBTQ people more kindly after their child comes out. Many more who assume caretaking roles for aging parents or wheelchair-bound kin never look at stairs, narrow doorways, or tight bathrooms the same.
Being an ally to disadvantaged and minority communities is a truly powerful act. Among other things, it helps whole social circles evolve past reflexive assumptions that “they’re only thinking of themselves” and remain more open-minded.
Allies can also help cut through the news and echo chambers of opinion in which many of us find ourselves today.
I have an outspoken brother who is politically conservative and lives in an especially conservative part of the country. I came out later in life, and he’s been an ardent supporter of me and my husband over the years. When someone starts on a politically charged discussion that mentions queer people in a pejorative way, he’ll interject: “Let me give you a different perspective.” Then he tells them about my family and how we’re nothing like the offensive stereotypes (and outright lies) some media outlets push. Conservative folks hearing about the gay experience from my conservative brother — instead of someone like me — are those whose hearts and minds are key to reach.
Bottom line: Don’t be afraid to be an ally to those whose experiences diverge from the typical. Allyship is a critically important role to fill at work and in society today. And for those of you who have been allies, thank you for helping to open minds to new perspectives.
Paul J. Heney – VP, Editorial Director
[email protected]
On X (formerly Twitter) @wtwh_paulheney
Filed Under: Engineering Diversity & Inclusion, DIGITAL ISSUES • DESIGN WORLD